If you can relate to any of these, our divorce support group for men is for you…
- Your life feels so difficult right now that it seems hard to be positive about much at all
- You are concerned that your relationship with your kids is being damaged
- You are angry that your co-parent doesn’t listen to anything you say
- You feel defeated by the lengthy process of separation and/or divorce
- You feel powerless and/or depressed
- You feel guilty about some of the things that you have said or done recently
- You don’t know what your next move is with your children, your ex, litigation or work
- You worry that you are going to wind up old, lonely and alone
- You think that if one more bad thing happens to you, you won’t be able to take it
- You feel like something of a failure as a husband, father and/or a man
- You are nervous about getting back into the world of dating
- You want to rediscover your self-confidence (i.e., your mojo)
If you can relate to any of these things, you are not alone. Dr. John’s divorce support group for men will be of immense help.
What is a men’s divorce support group?
A divorce support group for men is a tremendously powerful toolkit to enable men to a) survive their separation and divorce and b) transform themselves into the best version of themselves – happier, confident and more successful.
You don’t come to a divorce support group to be fixed because you aren’t broken. You have everything you need to get through this very challenging time in your life. Through sharing stories, you’ll realize you are not alone in your new journey. You’ll also pick up invaluable new tips and techniques regarding parenting, dating, style, mojo, litigation, mediation, custody agreements, sex and much more. It is quite common for men’s friendships to fall off over the years of fatherhood. This divorce support group offers a way to create new, integral friendships – guys you can go have a beer with, watch the football game or go out on a Saturday night.
What’s more, you get the critical assistance of Dr. John Schinnerer, a Ph.D. in educational psychology out of U.C. Berkeley, who experienced his own divorce in 2013.
A professionally facilitated men’s group provides you with an opportunity to share your experiences with other men, and to hear what other men may be experiencing, all within in a safe environment. This group is safe in that it has mutual respect and confidentiality of what is discussed in the group.
How the divorce support group for men works:
- There is a maximum of 8 men in the group, plus the facilitator.
- Groups are typically held on a weekly basis (vacations notwithstanding).
- If there is space, you may join the group at any time.
- Your initial commitment is for six meetings, or one and a half months.
- The group assumes confidentiality – which will be discussed whenever someone new joins the group. Whatever is shared in the group, stays in the group.
- The benefits you receive from the group will largely be related to your level of participation in the group, which includes giving and receiving feedback.
- You always get to choose your own level of participation. You don’t have to say or do anything that isn’t right for you. Typically, participants start to share more after a couple meetings when their comfort level increases.
A divorce support group is a powerful resource for men going through a significant life transition, divorce, and is highly effective in guiding men to begin to re-build happy, confident, successful and meaningful lives.
Via participation in the men’s divorce support group you will:
- Build new friendships for support
- Experience ongoing support through your separation and/or divorce, and understand that you don’t have to do it all on your own
- Learn how to communicate more effectively with those around you, with your ex-partner, and future partners
- Understand more about why you are being ‘triggered’ by interactions with your ex, and learn proven tools to allow you to respond calmly
- Have a greater understanding and insight about separation and divorce processes and legal issues, such as mediation, collaboration and litigation, by learning from other’s experiences
- Begin to understand the dynamics that take place during a separation or divorce, and feel more confident and empowered
- Explore the type of relationship you want to have with your children and take concrete steps towards achieving this
- Discover how to turn down the volume on anger, stress, depression, guilt, feelings of failure and shame
- Learn how to have authentic friendships with other men … beyond ‘Hey man, that sucks, have a beer’
A men’s support group is a cost effective and effective means to get professional support and increase confidence in the steps you take as you work through your separation and divorce issues.
What is the cost of the divorce support group for men?
The cost of a men’s group session is significantly lower than the cost of an individual counseling or therapy session – $97 per weekly meeting. This is roughly half of what you will pay for individual therapy.
For more information, please email Dr. John Schinnerer at DrJohn AT DivorceSupport4Men DOT com or call (925) 575-0258.
The Divorce Support Group for Men may be the best investment you will make IN YOURSELF as you move forward through your separation and/or divorce.
Note: Insurance not accepted.
Our logo, the unalome, is an ancient symbol representing the journey to enlightenment. The spiral at the bottom represents the mindless patterns of behavior in which we habitually engage. With awareness, we move out of the spiral and begin the upward climb, with all it's challenges, towards contentment.
Divorce Support Options for Men – Individual Support, Divorce Support Groups and More
Divorce can be highly stressful. During a divorce, men go through a variety of stages – blame, anger, sadness, feelings of failure, social withdrawal, recovery of self-worth, and re-entry into the dating world. Going through these stages can take an average of three years. To do so quickly, divorce support for men is vital and necessary. To this end, a new divorce support group for men at all stages of the journey is starting in Danville, CA.
Most men think they can do it alone. But why waste time and suffer more than you have to? Having support speeds up and eases the process of returning to a successful, confident and happy life.
Having the right information now may save you tens of thousands of dollars down the road. For instance, should you mediate or litigate your divorce? Or how do you skillfully divorce someone who is highly narcissistic?
Having a experienced team of men around you to steer you towards wise decisions when you are out of sorts can make all the difference in the world. You want to know what to expect, and how to plan for it, every step of the way. This means anticipating legal, emotional and psychological hurdles for yourself and your children. And perhaps, most importantly, our group lets you know you are not alone during a difficult phase of life.
Why a Divorce Support Group?
When going through a divorce, most people feel (temporarily) shattered, as if the rug that is the foundation of life has been pulled from beneath their feet. They experience a roller coaster of emotions that arise with great intensity, seemingly out of nowhere. Many worry about wearing out friends and family with their negative news and hesitate to share more with them, despite continuing to need support and advice. What is needed is to be around others who have walked the road of divorce, who possess critical knowledge, who can listen, validate and support. Often, men feel as if they are going “crazy” when, in fact, they are merely experiencing normal feelings due to an abnormal situation. A divorce support group for men is the ideal format to guide through this transition as it involves men who are in all different places in their divorce. Each can offer unique knowledge, compassion and perspective to the others to assist in navigating these challenging times.
Why Do Men Come to a Divorce Support Group?
Some men come to group because they have deep feelings of failure, betrayal, or difficulty dealing with the intense emotions brought about by separation. Simply ending a marriage brings with it, thoughts of “I’m a failure as a father, a husband and/or as a man.” While these thoughts aren’t true, they are common and pervasive in divorce.
Others come in due to feelings of ambivalence. That is, they have mixed and confusing feelings about their former partner. While one no longer feels love for the partner, they still want to care for and speak to them daily. They may feel no desire to be with their partner yet feel nervous about being single.
Still others call about the group because they are struggling with the aftershocks of an affair and their sense of deep betrayal.
Some come in for new friends and a reminder that they are not alone. Often, women lead the social calendar and men can lose friendships over the years. Also, many people simply lose friendshps due to divorce. A divorce support group is a great place to meet new single friends.
Some members initiate their divorce and then find it is far more complicated then they believed.
Some are dealing with the sudden, abrupt leaving of their spouse with an explanation of “I don’t love you anymore.” So there is no sense of closure. Sometimes there isn’t even an explanation as to why the relationship doesn’t work out which lends itself to deep confusion. They feel emotionally numb while seeking out closure which may not happen with the former partner because they are unwilling to talk. There are many ways a divorce support group can steer and guide you with your process of returning to solid, confident ground.
Dr. John’s clients say they need a safe, nonjudgmental group where they can talk about their past and present without overburdening family or friends. Many men feel they are burdening their loved ones with their stories of struggle, yet the sharing of stories is the primary way in which you recover, learn and grow. Sharing your story, again and again, is a normal response to the shell-shock that is divorce. It’s a healthy way to heal from the loss of relationship. Group is the perfect place to do so.
Dr. John’s Job as Facilitator Includes:
Guide group members towards setting individual goals and making concrete progress towards them
Teach proven methods to get through divorce as quickly and painlessly as possible
Share scientifically proven habits to mindfully create your future thriving, loving relationship
Encourage sharing of experiences and provide feedback and guidance
Normalize feelings of members and teach tools to guide them to manage emotions skillfully
Encourage offering and receiving support, tips and tools among group members
Support members in progressing through the milestones and stages of the divorce process
Encourage renewed self-confidence and increased risk-taking for new experiences
Steer group members towards building powerful support systems within and outside of group
Dr. John’s Approach to Group
Each group is slightly different as the group is influenced by the personalities and needs of the members. The primary goal is to support member’s sense of safety as they gradually share their unique experiences of divorce. Confidentiality is a foundational rule for every group. What is discussed in group, stays in the group. Divorce support groups are arranged with an eye towards individuals who will work together productively. Typically, groups are set up with members who are at a wide variety of places in their divorce journey – some are just separating, some in mediation, some in litigation, and some after finializing their divorce. Some are in a new committed relationship, some are beginning to date, and some have sworn off dating.
We strive for a balance of similar experiences which can provide common ground for members, along with a variety of ages, lengths of marriage, number of children and more, as this provides fertile ground for the sharing of experiences.
For more divorce support group information, contact Dr. John Schinnerer at (925) 575-0258 or email DrJohn@GuideToSelf.com. The groups take place in beautiful Danville, CA. Note: Insurance not accepted.